The Sea - Poem

I look toward the burning sun
And wonder where my life went wrong
When did it go dark?
Where did I lose my spark?
Was it the heartbreak I encountered?
Or the abuse that has been showered?
Was it the hands that once held mine leaving?
Is it the fact my heart's still beating?
Eyes wide open but I feel blindness
Friends around but I just hear silence
Was it his eyes that always engrossed me?
Could it be his arms that once enveloped me?
Was it my parents who taught me I'm wrong?
Is it their words that haunted me all along?
Is it the skin that I cannot change?
Perhaps the teeth I want rearranged?
The nose that I wish was smaller?
The fact I dream of being taller?
My organs that are declining?
My God, I can't stop whining!
My pessimism repulses me
But spewing self-hatred compulses me
So someone please enlighten me
On why the sea is beckoning me
To wash away every problem that I see
It's calling to me
Calling to me...