Yesterday was pretty fucking hard.
Anyone that has read 'Letting Him Go: Saying Goodbye To GL' knows that this mysterious GL, the brooding, 'intelligent' teacher, put me through the wringer and more in the almost two years that I've known him. His lies, erratic behaviour and broken promises have haunted me for so long, and as much as he had tried to deny it, he was a major catalyst in my depression, body dysmorphia and anorexia spiralling out of control.
Yesterday, I willingly met someone else that had been hurt by him, someone I had lied to on behalf of GL and I regret covering up for him immensely.
As much as I tried to bite my tongue and not go into everything, I couldn't lie to him again, not when the subject of GL was brought up. he didn't deserve more lies - sadly the truth wasn't exactly easy to tell either. There were moments I stammered, my hands shaking, and I apologised profusely for the lies I had told him on GL's behalf - some half assed story concocted by a man that couldn't keep track of his lies. There were things I heard that shocked me but it just confirmed that man was poison to me, to anyone that his lies touch. I have no ill will towards him, despite the heartbreak, despite the way he made me feel, but I never want to see him again.
Today is the start of the rest of my life and hopefully the start of a love that deserves to be loved.
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