"The storyteller told me,
There's darkness all around us,
The darkness all around me said,
"It's not just in your head...""
There's darkness all around us,
The darkness all around me said,
"It's not just in your head...""
Bic Runga Feat. Kody Neilson "Darkness All Around Us"
I can't shake the negative thoughts today. As hard as I try, they just won't disappear. I can't focus on anything: television, music, reading - nothing. Everything reminds me of people, places and problems I'm facing. It's like they're haunting me, like darkness is surrounding me and I'm lost in it.
I booked train tickets the other night to leave London. Just temporarily, for a week to Manchester, but I almost wish it weren't...
I need to breathe new air, I need to feel free again. Will it take my depression away? Of course not, if only, but it could be a chance for me to focus on where I am in life, how I got here and where I go from here on. If I go on.
The thought of leaving looms over me and terrifies me at the same time though. I'm not running away, but I wish I were. You can't run away from depression. It follows you like your shadow, like toilet paper underneath your shoe. I haven't left the flat since Friday evening, when I genuinely had a great night with friends - but then the comedown returned. I was plagued by insecurities, fears, doubts. I wish I could shrug them off, but, it just isn't that easy. I wish it were, because I'm not sure I'm strong enough to deal with it right now.
- Chris
I can't shake the negative thoughts today. As hard as I try, they just won't disappear. I can't focus on anything: television, music, reading - nothing. Everything reminds me of people, places and problems I'm facing. It's like they're haunting me, like darkness is surrounding me and I'm lost in it.
I booked train tickets the other night to leave London. Just temporarily, for a week to Manchester, but I almost wish it weren't...
I need to breathe new air, I need to feel free again. Will it take my depression away? Of course not, if only, but it could be a chance for me to focus on where I am in life, how I got here and where I go from here on. If I go on.
The thought of leaving looms over me and terrifies me at the same time though. I'm not running away, but I wish I were. You can't run away from depression. It follows you like your shadow, like toilet paper underneath your shoe. I haven't left the flat since Friday evening, when I genuinely had a great night with friends - but then the comedown returned. I was plagued by insecurities, fears, doubts. I wish I could shrug them off, but, it just isn't that easy. I wish it were, because I'm not sure I'm strong enough to deal with it right now.
- Chris
Hey,
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you're not in such a great place at the moment. While it won;t be an answer, maybe some time away will give you at least and element of difference and maybe a different perspective. Do you know Manchester?
Hi, thanks so much for your comment. I've only been to Manchester overnight once earlier this year, so I don't know it well at all, but I'm hoping that'll be good for me. Somewhere completely new, plus I have a friend that I'll be staying with who I'm sure will show me the sights. I'm just really looking forward to leaving my current problems behind for a bit and focusing on me and what I want. Thank you for reading and supporting x
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