Submissive - Poem

I'm on my knees
I'm begging you
But underneath
I'm telling you
You dominate
But I control
The things I want
You make them so
If my eyes stream
I want them to
Bite my lip
I'm commanding you
Call me 'bitch'
It makes me strong
Your hand on my neck
Making me throb
If I look up
You look so proud
Eyes of delusion
Thinking that you're crowned
But if I'm your slave
Then I own you
You and your meat
The submissive is you.

Opening Up

Sometimes it's hard to be honest. We fear people's response to us - will they accept me for who I am? Will they question why, who, where, when? Will they mock me? It's something I've struggled with my whole life - certain aspects, wants and desires under the surface that I fear revealing far and wide.

But why should I be scared? If I can't have confidence in myself and the things that form me then how can I expect anyone else to have confidence in me? So I made a bold decision, at least to me anyway, and began advertising some of my interests openly on Twitter. I'm not going to hide myself for anyone. I've spent long enough bending for other people and it's gotten me nowhere, so I'm going to be me.

And it's working. Great opportunities have come into my life since expressing my true self. Things are blossoming well and are coming to fruition. Where they'll go? Who can be sure, but it's a journey I look forward to taking on a road I've long dreamed of travelling.

I am the key to my future, nobody else, and that is true freedom.

All I Want - Poem

All I want is to feel you inside of me
All I want is for your hands to set fire to me
All I want is our bodies synchronising
All I want is our hearts intertwining

All I want is your lips brushing mine
All I want are your eyes to get lost inside
All I want is your skin caressing me
All I want are your fingers undressing me

All I want is your breath on my neck
All I want is one night we won't forget
All I want is to taste you, feel you, hear you
All I want is for after, to hear "I'll miss you"

All I want is for you to kiss these tears
All I want is that lust I've lacked for years
All I want us for you to be right here
All I want is you. Are you out there? Are you anywhere?

The Sea - Poem

I look toward the burning sun
And wonder where my life went wrong
When did it go dark?
Where did I lose my spark?
Was it the heartbreak I encountered?
Or the abuse that has been showered?
Was it the hands that once held mine leaving?
Is it the fact my heart's still beating?
Eyes wide open but I feel blindness
Friends around but I just hear silence
Was it his eyes that always engrossed me?
Could it be his arms that once enveloped me?
Was it my parents who taught me I'm wrong?
Is it their words that haunted me all along?
Is it the skin that I cannot change?
Perhaps the teeth I want rearranged?
The nose that I wish was smaller?
The fact I dream of being taller?
My organs that are declining?
My God, I can't stop whining!
My pessimism repulses me
But spewing self-hatred compulses me
So someone please enlighten me
On why the sea is beckoning me
To wash away every problem that I see
It's calling to me
Calling to me...

Fly Away - Poem

I don't know what you're looking for
But I know it's not me
You say you've moved on
I hope that makes you happy.

You say I'm attractive
Clearly not enough for you
You once said nothing would go wrong
Like a fool I believed you.

You chose a different path
You just forgot to tell me
Now I'm lost, alone without a map
And you refuse to help me.

I don't know what you're looking for
But now I know it's not me
You're free, fly away into the sun
I hope he makes you happy.

Why Don't You See Me? - Poem

Why don't you see me
Like I've seen you?
I don't need those three words
I just need a sign from you.

Why don't you touch me
Like I've touched you?
Your hands were so soft
Now I have claw marks from you.

Why don't you absorb me
Like I've absorbed you?
Pulsating inside me
My blood rushing for you.

Why don't you see me
Like you used to do?
Your actions make me believe
That I mean nothing to you.

Why don't I see me
Like you see you?
Because I think with my heart
A heart that still beats for you.

Letting Him Go: Saying Goodbye

Last year I met someone. Somebody that in a few months managed to turn my world around, made me question everything that I thought I knew of my life, and for the first time in a long time, made me feel good about myself.

He was smart, funny and distinctly handsome, so I couldn't believe it when he wanted to meet me for coffee. It took a few weeks to arrange, but eventually we did and I was glad to have met a new friend. It was a complicated situation. I was married and he was in a long-term relationship - I know, I should have known better.